Diary of a Mad Man

Over the last 13 years you readers have had a fun time reading all the stuff I went through but its time to end this blog and move on to the next big thing in my life. You all saw me happy, you all saw me sad, you all saw me angry, you all saw me mad. But now, its time to say goodbye. I wish to maintain my privacy due to some health reasons. I have been through a lot in the last 2 weeks, as a result of my 13 years of madness and now I really don't have the energy and patience to write. In the end, I would leave you all with one of my favorite tracks mixed over one of my favorite movies. I hope you all enjoy this, as much as I do.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt It’s not about you. It’s about them. It’s their loss. Don’t take it personally. It doesn't mean anything. Well-intention ed people have told me these things many times to soften the blow of rejection. And I wanted so badly to believe them, but how could I? When someone doesn't want you, it’s hard not to take it personally. They don’t want  you . It must mean something about you, right? When 3 Bands rejected me, when girl after girl ditched me, when countless potential friends avoided me, I thought for sure it meant I wasn’t talented or lovable. I beat myself up, put myself down, and wished I could be someone better, someone people wouldn’t so quickly write off. I tried to re frame it, to consider that it really had nothing to do with me. I knew this thought was supposed to comfort me, but something told me this wasn’t right—and it wasn’t my low self-esteem. Eventually, I was able to

Drinking never scared me. It should have, but it didn’t. I was able to compartmentalize different areas of my life so well that I allowed myself to believe that I was fine… no problem here, sir… keep on walkin’ along. Drinking didn’t scare me when I got nearly arrested. It didn’t scare me when some of my friends slowly drifted away, tired of my preoccupation with finding the next party. It didn’t scare me when I spent many mornings and some full days in bed hungover. It didn’t scare me when I was making a mess of my finances because I was drinking too much to act like a responsible adult. It didn’t scare me when I lied about having migraines or food poisoning to get out of going to work or college because I felt too bad to go. It didn’t scare me when I acted like a jerk with many of my close friends. Drinking didn’t scare me when I had a horrible car accident and spent two days with a head injury. Well, that’s not exactly true. It scared me for two or three weeks, but I w

“Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout as you did in Rome. Do your worst, for I will do mine! Then the fates will know you as we know you: as Albert Mondego, the man! ” – My favorite quote from “The Count of Monte Cristo”. It’s funny how the biggest changes in our life only take a moment. One moment of not paying attention when you’re driving, one moment for a relationship to start and one moment for it to end, one moment for the words ‘I do’ to cross your lips and for them to next say ‘I want a divorce,’ one moment for a life to start and one moment for a life to end. One moment for all your dreams to come true and one moment for them all to be stripped away. One moment… And our lives are altered permanently. It all happens so fast and we are never prepared for it and before we know it were caught up

Bloggers Note : It took me nearly 3 months to finish off this post. I got easily distracted by anything and everything. But I finally did it!! Hurrah for me! People have often mentioned, "being a avid biker must be so awesome" or "you learnt how to cook, that so cool man" or "wow you are a part of so many business verticals". But do you know the real story behind all these things is actually triggered by a mental disease. ADHD : Attention Deficit Hyper-Active Disorder The problem is not knowing when to stop, but how can I stop? People with attention deficit hyper active disorder are really special. They are actually super humans. I had been living with ADHD for 20 years before realizing it. It was my boss who found out and asked me to get it checked. He further added that people with ADHD do really well in life. I didn't take it seriously till things got a bit serious. I had mood swings. Really bad ones. It was like I had menstrua

Those who haven't read the first part here is your link : http://rickbanerjee.blogspot.in/2014/08/a-table-for-one.html As I started watching How I met your mother season 9, the first episode was about when Ted and his wife are sitting at a restaurant and talking. I thought to myself, one day I would be doing the same thing on this same table with my lady love. As the waiter brought my Wine, I had already started to think that I am going to end up alone in life. The maître d somehow managed to notice the tear in my eye, and came to my table and offered if I would like to change places and probably she could introduce to some people there. I smiled and I said that not today. I would like to spend my time alone. Although it was non or her business but she pushed it. Her words " You know you can get this packed and we can go to my place and probably have a nice dinner". I had never been approached by anyone like that. I started to have a feeling that something bad was abou